The first trimester

Or, the *relative* calm before the storm

In my previous post I shared how we found out I was pregnant with Caleb. I want to say before I continue with the story that after my last post, I started thinking about it and I want to make sure to emphasize something. Yes, my journey to having a child was longer than some, but it was also much shorter than others. I know couples who have struggled for years to have a child, either biologically or through adoption or both, and I wouldn't ever want to leave the impression that I've been in that same boat and know what it's like. We all have our own paths to walk through life, and mine has included its share of hills and valleys, but it hasn't taken me through the anguish of infertility, and I feel tremendously for those who have dealt with that particular trial.

Okay, that being said, now I'll get back to the story. It was a good thing I took time that first night to just enjoy the good news and let it sink in, because later that week, we had our first of what turned out to be many big scares during the course of the pregnancy.

Friday morning of that week, I woke up with bad cramps. I knew it wasn't my period, but that's what the cramps felt like. I immediately freaked out and called the doctor. He had already ordered a blood test to confirm the pregnancy, which I had taken, but my office visit and ultrasound weren't scheduled for several more weeks. After I told the nurse my symptoms, she immediately ordered the ultrasound and told me to head down to the medical center to get it done. They wanted to rule out the possibility of an ectopic pregnancy or a miscarriage. On the drive down, John tried to assure me that everything would be okay, but I clutched my stomach the whole way there, and couldn't help thinking that this might be the end, so soon after it had begun.

We were understandably nervous when the tech turned on the screen, not knowing what we'd find. She could see the worry on our faces, and tried to comfort us by saying that it was still very early so we might not be able to detect a heartbeat yet, and that the main thing was to make sure the fetus was in the correct place in the uterus. She moved the wand around. We held our breath. And then...there he was. A little jelly bean. A beating heart. The tech said he was exactly six weeks old, and estimated our due date at Sept. 7. And then it all became very real.  We had a baby. We were parents. No matter what was to come, we had seen our child, had his picture as proof, and life would never be the same.

Caleb's first picture, at six weeks in utero.

We were definitely relieved after that ultrasound appointment, but I continued to have cramps intermittently over the next several weeks, which was very unsettling to me. So I did some research on the internet. (I know, I know, looking for medical answers on the internet is like shaking a Magic 8 ball in which all the faces on the die turn up with, "You have cancer." But Dr. Google has proved right on more than one occasion for me, so I continue to see him occasionally.) I read that sometimes cramping in early pregnancy can be the result of low progesterone. A friend of mine told me that she had suffered a miscarriage due to low progesterone, and that she had experienced similar cramping. I talked to the nurse about it, and she talked to the doctor, and he went ahead and ordered a blood test to check my progesterone levels. They came back pretty low. But the doctor refused to do anything about it, or to even take the time to discuss it with me, because he said that it was too early to try to do anything to prevent a miscarriage.

I had already grown pretty fed up with this doctor's office, for a variety of reasons, so I switched doctors at that point to someone John knew and respected through his work. The doctor wasn't normally taking new patients, but he agreed to take me on. Given what ended up happening during my pregnancy, I believe that switching to this doctor was one of the best decisions I have ever made, and might have even saved Caleb's life.

The acupuncturist, who couldn't believe my previous doctor hadn't done anything about my progesterone, gave me some topical progesterone cream to use, in case that would help at all. My new doctor reviewed my case and all my blood work and ordered another progesterone test. It came back a little higher than the previous one, so he told me to continue using the progesterone cream because it appeared to be helping. He also performed another ultrasound in his office during my first visit (yes, he did it himself right then and there! One of the reasons I love him) just to make sure everything was going okay.

His main concern at this point was my weight. He said it wasn't super important during the first trimester because a lot of women actually lose weight during the first trimester due to morning sickness. Thankfully, I hadn't been suffering from too much morning sickness (other than the time I came home early from work because I felt too nauseated, then realized I didn't have house keys and ended up puking in the front yard...classy), which was a huge blessing because I couldn't afford to be throwing up what little food I was able to eat at that point. But he said if my weight didn't pick up during the second trimester, we'd have to explore other options, like a feeding tube, etc.

Besides the cramps, the main symptom I had during that first trimester was fatigue. Thanks to the fibromyalgia, I was used to being tired, but this was on a whole different level. Those who have experienced extreme fatigue during their pregnancies will sympathize. But still, I thought, hey, if being exhausted is the worst thing that happens during this pregnancy, I'll take it!

Another little miracle

And then another miracle happened. It probably happened gradually, but the first time I really noticed it was on Valentine's Day. John took me out to dinner at a fancy restaurant (with treatment like that, I could get used to being his baby mama!), and I decided to throw caution to the wind and order a steak. Red meat had been a no-no for me, because it's difficult to digest, but I was pregnant and I wanted to eat steak, dang it! As I took bite after bite, I kept waiting for the uncomfortable full feeling to set in. It never did. I polished off my steak, and even had room for dessert. And my stomach didn't feel like it was going to explode afterward.

My digestion continued to improve over the next few weeks, to the point where I didn't even have to sleep on the wedge to keep the heartburn at bay. My doctors didn't know what to make of it. I asked the gastro specialist, who deals with gastroparesis all the time because he's the best GI doc in town, what happens to his patients after the pregnancy when it seems that pregnancy has temporarily cured their condition. He said he had no idea, because he had never seen this happen before. I was used to being told by doctors that I'm an anomaly, but never in a good sense! My OB said he had never seen this happen before either, but that we would keep our fingers crossed because my weight was starting to improve.

So I decided to just enjoy each day that God gave me a functioning stomach, and continually thanked Him for once again choosing to work a miracle in my body. One trimester down, two to go. And boy did they turn out to be doozies.

I know I normally post a song at the end of each post, but during this time in my life I didn't have any songs that particularly spoke to me. So instead I'll just include a picture of me at the end of the first trimester, with a tiny Caleb-sized bump.